When I say your weight isn’t the issue, I mean your weight truly isn’t the issue.
Society, fitness experts, medical professionals, and weight loss programs want you to believe that your weight is the golden ticket to your self acceptance, to your happiness, and to all your successes in life.
It just. isn’t. true.
How many times have you lost a ton of weight or finally got to your goal weight and still didn’t like yourself? Or maybe you found that your thoughts about food became even more intense and you began to question your own sanity.
I get it! I lived in that dark place that hovered between looking like a crazy person and crying at a moments notice all while outwardly trying to keep my shit together.
If you are like many of my clients, the number on the scale is what deems your day a good one or a bad one. And let’s be honest here, it’s never a good one.
So…how is your weight still not the issue?
Because trying to change your weight is NOT going to fix your problems, is not going to all of a sudden make you happy, will not make the constant food thoughts go away, and will not lead you to feeling comfortable when looking in the mirror.
Sure, you might experience those things for a short time, but how quickly will that excitement and happiness disappear? The moment you decide to try a new diet, a new workout, a new cleanse, or a new fast.
Why? Because it’s not about what you look like or how much you weigh, but how you SEE yourself.
I guarantee the moment you decide to stop changing every little thing you hate about yourself and start to accept yourself as IS (because you’ve always been enough) you will agree that your weight is not the issue.
But if you’re having a tough time believing me, here are 3 tips you can start today to help you shift your mindset.
1. Say good bye to your scale.
Since weight is not the issue here, there should be no reason for you to keep your scale around. Knowing how much you weigh literally does nothing good for your mental well being. It’s just a piece of metal that we seem to give so much power to. My clients often tell me they have associated their happiness with a certain number on the scale (I was the same way too) and if they go above, their day is shot and if they go below, somehow they’ve accomplished something extraordinary. To be honest, there’s WAY more meaningful accomplishments in life than hitting a certain number on the scale. So…get rid of that nasty piece of junk and start to fill your day with more important and meaningful things like… hugging your pets, reading a juicy book, going for a leisurely walk, dancing around in your underwear, baking your favorite recipes, laying on the floor and doing nothing for 5 minutes (my personal favorite), and so many more! In the end, you have the power and control to throw away that scale and choose you right now.
2. Focus on the now.
Worrying about your weight often leads to obsession over the past and fearing the future instead of living in the now. And if you’re stuck in the past and/or future you’re truly missing out. So many times I find my clients stuck trying to be who they were years before food took over or having their thoughts be consumed with the fear of what their body or appearance is going to look like in a week or a month or a year from now. Both of those completely take away the amazing and beautiful NOW. Appreciating and accepting what IS can often be tricky. I get it. I had no idea what I was missing out on until I stopped living in the past and stressing about the future. One amazing tool to help with focusing on the now is meditation (yes, I am also another one of the meditation believers). Meditation is really the gift of becoming present in the moment. And this can easily be started with just 3 minutes a day (I started with 3 minutes and worked my way up). I personally use Headspace because it’s easy and straight forward, but whatever app or video you want to use is the best one. Meditation helps you learn how to observe your thoughts, and with the countless thoughts on your weight, this is a perfect tool to use to better understand your relationship with that dreaded number on the scale. And if you’ve been reading this post, you’ll start to understand it’s not about the actual number.
3. Accept yourself as IS.
Can you sort of see a theme here? Tip 2 was focusing on the now and this last tip is accepting yourself as IS right now. It’s all about living in the present folks. Once you are able to do that, you will truly begin to appreciate YOU. Now, I do want to clarify something about acceptance. Acceptance isn’t about loving every part of your body, it’s not about ignoring the things you necessarily don’t like about your body, it’s about being okay with it, AND realizing that there’s so much more to life than your appearance. You are not your body, you’re not ‘a’ body and you can damn sure be kind to it even if you don’t like it (or parts of it). This is often a hard concept to put into action but in the end, actions will speak louder than your thoughts (click on that link to read 3 ways to choose kindness even when you’re not feeling it). Just a fair warning, acceptance isn’t something that is going to happen overnight, but it will happen. The key? Consistently show up for YOU no matter what nasty or mean thought(s) pop up in your mind. Acceptance is a learned skill, but a meaningful skill that will stay with you forever.
Talking about one’s weight can often times be a taboo subject. Just like you should never ask a woman her age, you should never ask ‘anyone’ about their weight. And the main reason is this…no one give’s a shit! Your weight is just a number. A number that can easily fluctuate every single day, so trying to gauge what kind of day you’ll be having or what kind of mood you’ll be in due to that specific number, is just ridiculous.
So the next time you get the urge to associate your weight with your worth and value as a person, tell that thought to ‘F off’ and carry on about your day.
Because life’s way too short to spend another measly second at war with that number.
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Certified Holistic Health Coach
Eating Disorder Recovery Coach